


An Unbidden Event

by OakwoodOuroboros



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: Crack Crossover, Gen, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, is this shounen-ai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 14:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10642197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OakwoodOuroboros/pseuds/OakwoodOuroboros
Summary: Atsushi and Kenji have to fight a certain Mr. Wells. Unfortunately, this man has an ability that sends them through space-time to a place that's... well, odd would be the right word, I guess.A fic that tells the tale of doppleganger enemies turned friends, way too many snakes and daily routine at the Phantomhive manor.Warning: This fic is absurd enough to have a professional narrator quit on it. You've been warned.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warning : crack fic, and mild spoilers for both series; Bungou Stray Dogs anime series and Kuroshitsuji manga. And a lot of POV changes.

“What? Why? Where?...”

“Welcome to the Phantomhive manor. Please state the reason of your visit.”

“Erm… I’m sorry?”

The young blond boy just smiled at him brightly, before turning to the person whom, apart from being of Asian descent, could have been his twin brother.

“I’m not sure how to deal with people who copy my appearance. I think that the only reason why you could be impersonating me would be to harm the Phantomhive household. I’m sorry, but I think that I’m in the obligation of eliminating you.”

Kenji smile mirrored the gardener’s as his stomach let out an ominous growl.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying, but I hope that you have something warm to eat after this.” [1]

Atsushi thought quickly and jumped into a nearby bush before the onslaught started. This was exactly the right thing to do, he added as an afterthought, as the two manically grinning teens threw the same punch at exactly the same time. The two fists met with a resounding crack, a shock wave visible as their two exactly matched strengths cancelled out.

Creepily enough, the two boys’ expressions were exactly the same, a smile which would have been cute in other circumstances and both pairs of eyes closed in delight to find a match to their strength.

Atsushi shuddered, and quickly made his way towards the huge manor, where surely things wouldn’t be as madly confusing.[2]

* * *

Mey-Lin sighed as a huge ball of flame emerged from the kitchen, charring the panelling on the other side of the doorway. That was yet another job for her lacking cleaning skills, which would, as usual, be taken up by the absolutely  _gorgeous_ Sebastian. Maybe she would sit there with cloth in hand, and he would lean over, and she would smell his oh-so-irresistible scent… 

Her very pleasant train of thoughts was interrupted when Bard stuck his head out of the aforementioned room, face covered in soot apart from goggle-marks around his eyes. The image contrasted so sharply with her musings that she tripped, sending the immaculate sheets she was carrying onto the startled cook. As expected, neither her glasses nor the sheets survived their respective impacts unscathed.

“What was that for?” asked the cook, peeling grey sheets off his face and looking at her quizzically. “Anyway, I think you should come and look at this. It’s the newest technology from my country, and it really does have power.”

“How about lunch? It’s nearly one o’clock, have you prepared the young master’s food yet?” she asked smartly, knowing full well the answer, not even having to look up to the eccentric cook’s blanching face.

“Sebastian’s gonna to kill me.”

“No, just put you on coal duty for a week,” she smirked, before returning to gathering the ruined fabric and bringing it back to the washroom. [3]

* * *

Atsushi sighed as he passed yet another bush, which looked suspiciously like the previous one. The trip to the manor was more difficult than he had expected, somebody having had the smart idea to make the paths of the garden labyrinthine. The building had not seemed to get any closer in the twenty minutes he had been walking around, and more importantly, the sound of combat which he had left behind didn’t seem to fade, either. Since that one time he had defended him against that gang, Atsushi had full faith in Kenji’s ability to be able to hold out on his own. As long as he didn’t eat anything, he would be fine.

Something squishy and pipe-like materialised under his descending foot, and he looked down to observe it a little closer. It was long, reddish-brown, tapered to a point on one end…

“SNAKE !” he screeched, jumping back a few feet.

“I’m sorry? Says Emily.”

A young man emerged from behind a bend in the path, a little ahead of him. He had approached without him hearing him, despite the short distance and crunchy gravel of the road. Still reeling away from the small animal, he did not bother to look up to him until he was a good four feet away from the potential threat. When he did, a gasp of surprise escaped his lips as he caught the face marred by some terrible skin condition, the strange eyes and the light locks of hair. Atsushi closed his mouth and looked away as he answered. He must be a sorry sight as well, he realised.

“Erm, do you speak Japanese? _Nippon…_ I mean… _Japan… speak?_ ”[4]

The man looked at him strangely, before murmuring:

“I’ll bring you to Tanaka, says Wordsworth.”

Atsushi brightened at the name, which sounded promising. He stared in wonder as the snake which had been lazing in the middle of the path came over to the man, who had crouched down and extended a hand in the direction of the animal. It slid up his arm and curled around his shoulders like some eerie scarf, and stayed there, to the Armed Detective’s relief.

The servant (he was wearing what appeared to be that type of clothing, anyway), pointed to the snake and said:

“Wordsworth, says Wordsworth.”

Getting the gist of it, Atsushi repeated:

“ _Wordu…swerthu?_ ”[5]

The man nodded, his forever unsmiling face as expressionless as his companion’s. Taking this as a sign to introduce himself as well, Atsushi turned a finger to his chest and said slowly:

“Nakajima Atsushi.”

“ _Nakajima…?_ says Emily.”

“Atsushi.”

“ _At-sushi_ , says Wordsworth.” 

He schooled his expression to look as puzzled as possible, and gestured towards the young servant whose name he was still in the dark about.

“His name is Snake. Snake, says Wordsworth.”

Atsushi thought the sentence over a bit, scrapping together his meagre language skills before understanding the first part of the sentence.

“ _Snaku.”_

“No, Snake, says Wordsworth.”

“ _Snak-euh.”_

“Good, says Emily.” [6]

He walked forward, the way he had been going and the opposite way Atsushi had been heading. He caught up to his silent steps and pointed towards the manor, putting his puzzled expression to good use again.

The snake-man pointed in turn to the manor and then to the path, indicating the way they were going was indeed the right one to take to get to the impressive building. Still confused, Atsushi nevertheless followed without a word.

* * *

The battleground was strangely unharmed, the small blue flowers and nearby trees unknowing of the immense amount of energy that was being exchanged right next to them. The two blond boys were at a draw, each hit they threw exactly the same on either side. None of them seemed ready to stop though, eyes equally determined on either side. A particularly powerful kick was thrown, the shock wave disturbing the flight of a nearby bee, which promptly forgot about it and continued on her daily business.

* * *

“Hey, Mey-Lin, have you seen Finny today?”

She was holding a mouthful of pegs as she pinned the sheets down on the line. Bard was keeping her company after having been forcefully banished from the kitchen by an overworked and somewhat scary Sebastian.

Once her hands freed up, she switched them from her mouth to the peg-box so that she could speak without hindrance.

“No, not at all. He wakes up before me anyway, and I just assumed he was pottering around the garden as usual. But you’re right; he should be getting hungry by now.”

Bard’s gaze was fixed on the horizon where a small cloud of dust was rising in the gentle summer heat. He frowned, then turned back to the maid.

“Just a thought; I think he’s all right, though.”

She looked at him over her glasses, piercing eyes making him shudder as they peered into his soul.

“He can fend for himself, you know.”

“I know, but he is just so…” His mind struggled for the right term.

“Naïve? He may act that way, but it’s very probably a façade. And even if it isn’t you’ve seen him fight before. Don’t lie to yourself about his nature, and he can fend for himself just fine.”

Bard turned away from her, scratching the back of his head in unease. His gaze turned to the patchy grass, and remained there as his eyes widened.

“Mey-Lin, did Snake take all his animals with him to town today?”

“No, actually, I think Sebastian told him to bring only a few; why?”

“I think I’m going back to the kitchen.”

“But Sebastian will kill you if you get in his way again.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

He retreated slowly towards the wooden door in the side of the building, keeping his eyes on the same patch of soil.

The door slammed shut and Mey-Lin looked confusedly down at her feet, where Bard had had his gaze locked only seconds ago.

A hiccup of fright escaped her as she caught sight of the tightly knotted mass of snakes at her feet.

* * *

“Master Ciel, may I interest you today in…”

The menu was rattled off unnoticed by the bored child sitting at the lavishly set out table. He was wondering about his many unsold games, the sales of the previous versions having been a great success. Was somebody boycotting his products behind his back?

“…and at last, meringue nests with fresh fruit and white yoghurt for pudding. Master? Is something bothering you?”

“Nothing, Sebastian, it is nothing. What’s the state of the household?” he asked, more out of habit than anything else, as he finally attacked his first course.

“Everything is fine, just fine,” he replied, as a smile made its way across his lips and his gaze went to the dust cloud just visible from the dining room.

* * *

“Snake’s back! At last! ”

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at the incredibly enthusiastic cook’s antics.

“It’s the first time that I’ve seen you so happy about that. I thought that you would have been more likely to cower than jump with joy.”

Bard hid his frustration behind a quickly lit cigarette. He threw the match in the nearby fireplace so as to not destroy half a wing (which he had done on one memorable occasion).

“I stumbled across a nest of his “friends” earlier on today. I’ve been waiting for him to go and get Finnian; he hasn’t been back to eat lunch today.”

The butler’s usual smirk, which he used only when mocking the rest of the staff at Phantomhive manor, appeared on his handsome face. Bard’s frown deepened at what he knew was going to be a particularly scathing remark.

“Don’t worry about that. I think Finny is rather occupied at the moment, it’s better to not bother him for the rest of the afternoon.”

Bard’s cigarette fell from his mouth and landed on the silk carpet with a little thud. Sebastian stepped on it, and reminded himself to repair the hole after his conversation, which was proving to be rather amusing.

“You mean he’s with… I mean… he’s got a… a _girlfriend_?” the cook whispered conspirationaly.

Sebastian smirked at his reaction, but gave out no more information.

“Anyway, was news of the footman’s return such a great event as to disturb my duties? Isn’t there anything else that you wanted to tell me?”

“Uhm, yeah, well there’s this other lad that he’s come back with, and he doesn’t look familiar…”

“He’s expected. Please find Mister Tanaka and bring him to meet the boy. We’ll be needing him.”

Bard left the guest room promptly, happy for a distraction from the worried thoughts that were now crowding him about Finny.

Sebastian leaned down and swiped a finger over the smooth silk, savouring the touch, like cat’s fur. When he straightened up, the small burn and the cigarette was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

The manor was even more impressive up close than Atsushi had initially thought. The stone stairs leading up to the immense carved doors left him in awe, used to small wooden structures or towering concrete buildings.

He started to make his way towards this door, but he was stopped by a glacial hand on his shoulder. [7] He turned to Snake, who shook his head and showed him to a path around the building. They emerged in a small sunny area set up with a washing line, on which white sheets danced in the slight wind. Snake made his way towards these pieces of fabric, and Atsushi, unsure of what to do, simply followed him. The servant bent down, and being a detective after all, Atsushi’s curiosity got the better of him. The knotted mass of snakes was not something he had been expecting, and a scream escaped his lips as he reeled back. He lost his balance and tripped on a rock which was just waiting for such a purpose in life, and to stop himself from falling all the way, he grasped the first thing that came to hand.

The sheets encountered relatively clean mitten-clad hands, but their luck ran out when they were dragged to the dusty ground.

“WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE? GET OUT OF THOSE SHEETS THIS INSTANT!..”

Atsushi’s fright was multiplied tenfold when the screaming banshee in a maid’s outfit swooped down on him, screeching out her frustration in rapid-fire English. He could not do more than hide behind the unconcerned Snake, even though he now had a dozen deadly animals wrapped around his shoulders.

She eventually calmed down, huffing and walking off yet again to the washroom. Snake followed her in once he assured himself that the messy-haired boy would not be too reluctant to come with him.

The manor was cool after the mild summer heat, and Atsushi shivered at the sudden change in temperature. Snake, for his part, drooped and slowed down significantly. At a junction in the corridors, he hesitated, before taking the one on the right.

It was dark in these hallways, the only light present coming from slits at the top of one of the walls. They were nearly underground, Atsushi thought. It was not reassuring, his survival instincts kicking in when it registered the lack of possible escape routes. They came to a set of stairs and went up them, just in time to catch sight of the edge of a skirt whipping around another wooden door. Atsushi hastened, nearly coming shoulder-to-shoulder with the now lethargic snake-man.

It’s as he rounded the corner that he caught the distinctive presence, one he had learned to hate and fear as much as himself.

“Rashomon.”

* * *

“If you set out from the Phantomhive manor and followed the winding paths a certain way, you would come across a greenhouse. Not far from that greenhouse you would find an exquisite flowerbed of blue forget-me-nots, the grass slightly trampled around it indicating that it was cared for daily by a loving gardener. Now, if you followed a second, more discrete path through the trees leading into the Phantomhive’s private forest, you would eventually get to a small meadow, filled with the babbling of a brook and the childish laughs of two gold-haired children playing in the shallow water. This peaceful scene is overlooked by the wise old trees and boulders covered in a light dusting of grey moss. The children are now clambering over those boulders and laze in the afternoon sunshine. One of their stomachs growl in obvious discomfort, but it is covered by the song of a nearby wren. The second boy looks concerned though, and runs off to get his friend something to eat. He comes back quickly, dragging a… Wait a minute, are you sure that this isn’t a mistake? This can’t be right.”

“That’s what’s written down.”

“No, wait a minute, listen to this: “He comes back quickly, dragging a dead cow in his wake so that they can picnic by the waterside.”.”

“I think that’s right, Jeremy. You can’t say that the sentence isn’t correct.”

“Well, you know what? You can take this job. I’m sure you can. Because I quit.”

“Please, come on! We need you just to do the last part!”

“No. I’ve narrated for Roald Dahl and J.K. Rowling, and I’ve never had anything as ridiculous as this to say. I can quit a stupid fanfiction job, I’m not even paid for it anyway.”

“Oh, come on! We’ve spent months bringing this contract to a close; can’t you just suffer through it?”

“You see this script? I’m putting it down on the table and I never want to touch it again. You see that door? I’m walking out of it right this instant, and never setting foot in this place again. Now goodbye.” [8]

* * *

The door opened slowly, the creak of unoiled hinges the only sound breaking the deep silence. Atsushi prepared for fight or flight, yet the person on the other side of the door was as far from being Akutagawa as he could be. He was taller than he was for a start, and lacked the somewhat trashy style that this one seemed to display, with hair tips bleached and large black coats. This one, even he had to admit, was as stylish and handsome as a man could come. The presence that he had felt earlier was not diminished though; it had even become stronger, coming off of him in waves. He was surprised that Snake had not reacted to his presence as he had, because he had most certainly put himself into a combative stance.

The man smirked at him, his gloved hands falling to his sides from where they had been holding the doorknob. His gaze was directed at the teen’s half-covered arms.

“ _Well, it seems that you have some potential there.”_

Atsushi, against his better judgement, looked down to the forearms. Black stripes bisected them at regular intervals, but they hadn’t turned into their full-blown tiger paws yet. He returned a bewildered stare to the person, who even though he had a Westerner’s face, had just spoken to him in near-perfect Japanese. His surprise deteriorated into his previous suspicious state as he caught sight of the man’s eyes. He was too perfect.

“What do you want from me?”

The man took his time before answering.

“ _Well, send you back from where you come from, of course. We can’t have visitors such as you destroying the peace and dignity of Phantomhive manor. Now please follow Snake here, he will bring you to a person whom I’m sure you will trust more than myself.”_

With that, said a quick few words to the aforementioned footman and turned his back on them.

“Wait! What is your name?”

“ _Well, wasn’t that cliché? Ah well, you can ask the man Snake will lead you to. As you will see, you will probably be more at ease to speak with him.”_

He disappeared around the corner, followed closely by the deeply blushing maid. Snake’s cold hand startled him out of his contemplation again, but he managed a look concern on his otherwise expressionless face. Atsushi shook it off and forced a smile. He was the only person who had paid attention to him in a kind way since his arrival. He decided to trust him despite his strange appearance and even stranger pets. [9]

They rounded the corner of the corridor and emerged through another door into the huge entry hall. A chandelier lorded it over with glittering crystal orbs, a ray of light catching it at such an angle that the white tiger was literally blinded by its sight. He saw the front doors from the other side, their carvings even more grand on this side.

They made their way across the marble slabs, shoes squeaking slightly on the brightly polished stone. The guest in the Phantomhive household looked back to where they had emerged. The modest door, dwarfed by the grandeur of the room, was set into the side of the staircase. It was there to be used by servants and unimportant guests, obviously. Although he was more than content to not complain and get himself into further trouble, Atsushi was still curious about the master of the manor. The place was obviously understaffed, and the few members he had actually met were quirky and didn’t seem to fit their respective roles. And who would hire the man with such a strong malevolent aura? He shuddered from combined cold and fright. He didn’t want to cross that man; he was more than sure that he would not make it out alive.

His train of thought crashed when he realised Snake was waiting for him, hand poised on a plain door handle. Fortunately, they had climbed the grand staircase and headed into another staff corridor, which was better lit and visibly above ground. Seeing that he had snapped out of his thought-filled state, he turned the handle and let him into the room.

* * *

Tanaka was sat down in a comfortable armchair, a cup of green tea cradled in his gloved hands. He had been alerted only minutes prior by a hectic Bardroy, who had looked everywhere apart for where he was most likely to be, that is the staff lounge. Tanaka had been the one to suggest converting the unused room into a place his colleagues and him self could spend their free time in comfort (although the real reason was that he didn’t want to leave one room to brew his tea to go back to his quarters to drink it). After a few weekends, under his directions and the help of Bard and Mey-Lin, he finally got the room up to holding a few old, comfortable armchairs and a large round coffee table in front of a forever-lit fire. It was cosy and welcoming, and that was the exact impression that got Atsushi as he poked his head in. Snake said something to Tanaka, who chuckled a little “Ho-ho-ho!” before addressing the ability user.

“ _He asked me to tell you that he has to return to his duties, and he expresses his best wishes towards you, says Wordsworth.”_

Atsushi looked back at the young man and nodded, a smile on his face and a wave in his hand as he retreated. The door clicked a little as it left the retired butler and the boy to speak.

“I am sorry for the inconvenience!” said Atsushi with a bow. “I really didn’t know what we were up to when we fought against that Wells guy, and we just ended up here, and… and…”

Tanaka just smiled at him amiably.

“ _Please come and share a cup of tea with me. It is custom to do so here, it is nearly considered as a fourth meal. Now tell me, let’s start from the beginning. What is your name?”_

The next thing he knew, Atsushi had a steaming cup of bitter tea clasped in his hands and was pouring out his entire life to the attentive elderly person in front of him. It didn’t take long, and he left out the specifics of the agency. He did mention the existence of abilities, and explained his own as well as Kenji’s and Akutagawa’s, in preparation to explaining the feeling he got when he had faced the tall, dark-haired servant.

“ _So this Kenji is now fighting with Finnian, the gardener, in the gardens right now?”_

“Well, I’m not sure whether they still are, but they started as soon as we got here, and I didn’t see them stop.”

Tanaka put the cup down and smoothed his moustache over a little, before smiling.

“ _I don’t think we should be too concerned. If they really are as similar as you say they are, they will get on sooner or later. Anyway, how did you get here in the first place?”_

“Well, Kenji and I were sent out to look into these disappearances, and we thought they may have a relation to this other case we were trying to sort out, but it just turned out to be this weird Western guy claiming people from another planet had possessed his brain or something. We tried to arrest him in the normal way, but he turned out to have an ability, like us.” [10]

“ _So what did he do?”_

“I think he might have cut through a passage to another universe and shoved us through it. I’ve met someone who did something similar, but she actually made a small room outside of the space rather than using existing ones.”

“ _I think I understand, even though it’s difficult to imagine. Is this passage still open? Is there any way we can send you back?”_

Atsushi looked down at the nearly empty cup, a pained expression on his face.

“I don’t think that it is. Still open, I mean. I’m not sure whether I can find a way to get back, unless I try to bend space and time like Akugatawa does. But I can’t control my ability very well, I can only use it under certain circumstances.”

“ _Ah, well. Any more tea?”_

“Yes, please.”

The teapot gurgled soothingly as the liquid was poured into the waiting cups. A companionable silence settled, although it remained a little tense. The old man set the teapot down with a little clatter on a doily he had made especially for this reason, and leaned back in the old armchair. It was the one closest to the fire, so that he could put his tea together as well as heating his bones near the warm blaze. He deserved it after so many long years of service.

“ _I think that I have pried enough into your life for now. Have you got any questions about this place? Sorry, one last one though: do you like horses?”_

On the other side of the door, the tall, handsome man chuckled into his gloved hand.

“Do you really think we need to add an imbecile coachman to you lot of fools I have to clean up after? I will not let that happen, trust me, Tanaka, trust me.”

* * *

“So he was right!”

Bard was crouched behind a bush in one of the less frequented parts of the forest, looking out into the clearing that had been obviously formed by somebody knocking down numerous trees. But that must have been a long while ago. The stumps were all half-covered in moss, and the few holes where some of the said stumps would have been pulled out had grass growing in them. This was probably the gardener’s secret haven, the place he went when he was not taking care of the many Phantomhive plants, or helping out at the manor house.

But this was not what caught the chef’s eye.

Lying beside the boy on the mossy rocks was somebody else. They were very similar in appearance, but no doubt different from the person he had now known for years. Next to them, what looked like the skeleton of a cow was spread out on the sandy shore of the stream. But even this other oddity was erased from Bard’s mind as he caught a glimpse of the stranger’s sleeping face.

That was no girl.

“Oh no.” [11]

* * *

The conversation had been a long one, but Atsushi was now more settled. Certain things Tanaka had helped him accept, and a sad smile graced his lips as the sun dipped below the treeline. He was now ready to take on his new life, the only major hurdle in his path to a worry-free life being getting Kenji to accept it as well. But Tanaka would help, he was sure. And Sebastian, probably.

That part of the conversation had taken up the better part of an hour: the head butler was someone Atsushi had been certain that he would never trust just a few hours ago, but now that Tanaka had explained to him the solid loyalty all the servants of the house had towards this mysterious young master, and Sebastian in particular, he felt that be had somehow misjudged him.

Anyhow, it was his only, and best choice for now. He would definitely  _not_ attempt to live on the streets in a country of which he didn’t even know the language. He was ready to take on his new job  as soon as possible, to guarantee the roof above his head, even though he had never actually seen a horse in his life. Ah well. He would have to live with it. 

A knocking came to the door, and it freaked open a moment later.

Atsushi cringed at the sight of the black-cloaked man. Maybe he was right after all.

“ _Mister Tanaka, Atsushi, would you care to follow me outside?”_

Tanaka got up, demanding no explanation. Atsushi hesitated, but decided against asking. He didn’t want to appear impolite or stupid towards his to-be supervisor. Even though he probably had already before.

They took the same path in reverse than the one Atsushi had taken before, but this time, once they had set foot outside, they crossed the lawn of a great French garden he was certain had not been there before.

“Finny deserved a day off, so I decided rearrange things a little in his absence,” Sebastian said to Tanaka, who had raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Well, good job, then.”

“It’s nothing. I'm one hell of a butler, after all.”

They were walking away from the manor. Atsushi found this rather odd: was the head butler going to show him to the gate? Or were they just on their way to get Kenji?

His question was soon answered when a familiar greenhouse appeared behind a bush as they turned a corner on the winding path. There, two blond heads could be seen bobbing with laughter at some joke that would forever be known only to them. Their attention snapped to them, however, as they appeared around the corner.

“ _Please excuse me for a second, I won’t be long.”_

As soon as the warning was given out, the mysterious man disappeared. Atsushi swallowed with some difficulty the saliva building in his throat, waving hesitantly to Kenji and his new friend.

“ _I’m back.”_

Atsushi jumped what felt like three feet in the air from the sudden appearance of the butler, who had somehow materialised right behind him. Next to the expected demon-esque person, there stood a young boy dressed in a fine suit, frowning up at the unfamiliar face and sloppy haircut.

“Sebastian, would you care to explain the reason of this..?”

“No need, Master,” he said, cutting Ciel off. “They will soon be gone.”

Atsushi didn’t understand the next few seconds. For an instant, everything was a blur of black and red, and he may have glimpsed Kenji and a jar of pickles floating around at one moment, but the next thing he knew he was lying face-down in a dirty alley, at night. He groaned, raising himself up on one arm, and saw Kenji’s blond head sticking out of the nearest dustbin. His eyes focussed slowly, and he managed to make out the headline of a newspaper that seemed to have been conveniently placed there by some unknown force.

“Mad scientist Wells captured… two force members missing?” he read out loud.

He got up and limped over to where Kenji’s form was slumped ad found him to be fast asleep, holding a filthy dog-shaped teddy bear in his arms.

Well, at least they were back now.

* * *

“I still don’t understand why you interrupted my work to watch you banish someone to another dimension, Sebastian.”

“Well, I found the context amusing, so I thought that you would enjoy a little distraction from your daily routine, Master.”

Ciel huffed, too confused and not wanting to know anything more about this mess, before stomping off. It is worth noting that he narrowly avoided crushing one of Snake’s pets on the way back to his office, and got lost several times on his way back through the labyrinthine French gardens.

Bard emerged from another adjacent path, eyes wild and twigs caught in his hair, and caught Finny’s shoulders and started shaking him violently (all people present at that time had been hypnotised for the duration of Atsushi and Kenji’s banishing back to their home dimension, apart from Ciel, Sebastian, the writer and the readers, of course).

“Finny! We...”

“What’s the matter, Bard?” he asked, innocent smile playing out on his face.

“We… we need to talk,” he answered, blushing a bit and losing eye contact.

“About what? Is something wrong? I’m sorry to have taken time off, it’s just that…”

Bardroy sighed, putting a hand on Finny’s shoulder and ruffling his hair. A small, fatherly smile lit his face, that was still strung up in worry and stress, but it loosened his features up significantly.

“It’s nothing, Finny. Let’s go back home now, ok?”

**Author's Note:**

> [1] I’m using the assumption that people from BSD speak Japanese and the ones from BB (Black Butler, Kuroshitsuji for the people who prefer to type that out) speak English.
> 
> [2]I was listening to really nice, calm classical music when I was writing this sentence, but my phone betrayed me by quickly switching to the South Park’s film soundtrack. Yep, I had my bedroom door open and blaring “Unclef*****” (I won’t swear in this fic. Ratings, please) for the whole world to hear. Ah well, you can’t reproach me for only sticking to one musical style.
> 
> [3]This little scene was not planned. Mey-Lin and Bard just decided to intrude here to make themselves known.
> 
> [4]Italics mean somebody is using a language from their non-respective universe. Confusing? Here’s a guide:
> 
> BSD characters: italics for spoken English
> 
> BB characters: italics for spoken Japanese
> 
> Also, I thought that with the unhappy childhood he had, Atsushi probably wouldn’t have the best basics in foreign languages.
> 
> [5] Don’t kill me. I tried to add the Japanese accent, because it didn’t seem right that he could pronounce such a complicated word so easily on the first go. If I can improve it in any way, please tell me.
> 
> [6]I find these language-barrier scenes incredibly endearing. The comments section is flame-proofed by the way, so knock yourselves out!
> 
> [7]Assuming, with inspiration from other fics, that Snake’s bodily functions are, at least partly, like the ones of a snake.
> 
> [8]Well, that was to be expected. I’m getting tired and I think I will try to convince Jeremy to come back tomorrow (Jeremy is a narrator specialising in children’s and young adult literature. He sometimes volunteers for free though between his dealings with Eoin Colfer and Paul Stewart, but he is a bit hot-headed. And yes, I am thinking of the Code Lyoko Jeremy.)
> 
> [9]Language barrier, you will not beat these friendships! Nor yours! Don’t limit yourselves to English! Be diverse! And don’t stop at appearances! They mean nothing! I’m mad! Don’t listen to me!
> 
> [10]In BSD, all the ability-users have an ability which is related to their work. I haven’t read it, I have to admit, but based on the name of one of H.G. Wells’ stories “The Time Machine”, I gave him an ability which is somewhat sci-fi and alienish. The name of his ability is that, by the way.
> 
> [11] I pursue BB’s tradition of mistaken yaoi, just because it’s hilarious and I like the overly protective Bard ;D. This is a genfic though, so all claims that I’m actually writing yaoi are in vain, my friends.
> 
> This was supposed to be around 1,000 words long, but it gangrened into my whole morning and part of my afternoon. I blame either binge-writing or procrastination. Algebra just didn’t look enticing at all.
> 
> I’ve only seen the anime of Bungou Stray Dogs, so I don’t know much about the lore. I’m also waiting for the manga to come out in my home country, or for the second part of the anime to be released, whichever comes first.
> 
> As for Kuroshitsuji, I only read the manga for the servants, I don’t like the characters of Sebastian or Ciel (Stone me for all I care! It’s the truth! I just don’t like them!). I particularly like Finnian and Snake (I’m not for the pairing though; I’m not for any pairings at all by the way), so they are the main characters used here.
> 
> And this is officially the story with the most useless notes in all my history of fanfiction writing! Hurray!
> 
> Edit: it took quite some time to actually finish this fic. I got heavy writer’s block right at the end, so… well, now it’s out.


End file.
